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I’m in favour of the recent attempts at voter ID laws. I think it’s about time quite frankly.

But I abhor the justification for it. It’s not about fraud.

In fact, I think it sets a dangerous precedent when people expect the government to take action on something as difficult to define as ‘fraud’. In fact, let’s just drop the whole ‘fraud’ concept. Along with other such outdated concepts as ‘regulation’ and ‘transparency’.

History has shown that talking about these things causes divisiveness and class warfare. In other words, these are concerns for Socialists, and that’s not the private equity American way.

It’s really about increasing the value of the vote, maximizing that value, and then shedding the body politic of unnecessary fat.

Voting has been devalued. Almost every dictatorship and plutocracy out there is aware of the need for the fig leaf of democratic legitimacy. Rigged and skewed elections are so as common as to no longer even warrant a front page headline. Millions, no, hundreds of millions of votes were cast this year all over the world and most of them were worthless.

What is really valuable is a vote that counts. A vote that might actually swing an election, change a policy, or at the very least let those in power know that you’re out there. However, as we’ve seen in recent elections, too many people waste their votes on fringe candidates, or even worse, on candidates hostile to job creators. You wouldn’t accept such slack performance from an employee, so why should it be tolerated in a voter?

Disenfranchising a lot of voters based on their inability to get some paperwork together is not a bad idea. It’s a great idea. It lowers the costs of elections; and fewer eligible votes means the value of those votes goes up, and we create more high value voter roles for the people of this great nation, where the trees are just the right height.

So I’m all in favour of voter ID laws. My issue is that they don’t go far enough, and don’t focus on the core business of the country.  I’ll start with the stated targets of the current proposals to show how they can be improved: Felons and Foreigners.

Felons

OK, I get the idea that felons have lost their right as a result of their crime…but then why are they out of prison in the first place? If they’ve paid their debt to society, then they should have the vote. If they can’t vote, then they are not part of society, and if they are not part of society, they should be in prison. Felons released from prison are like pension funds: an inexcusable drain on our company’s country’s finances. Money that would be better spent on our management fees. The obvious solution here is to make voting mandatory, with stiff prison sentences for failure to comply. Since felons cannot vote, they will be automatically in violation of the law and we can re-incarcerate them immediately into privately run, efficient, work focused institutions. They will be paid a fair wage, (minus living expenses) and should provide a large pool of labor to help us repatriate so many of those outsourced jobs.

Foreigners:

Foreigners…I’m going to go out on a limb here and take a view that may not be popular with my fellow freedom lovers: I think we should consider recruiting foreign votes in the same way we recruit foreign talent.  If the argument is that they haven’t invested in the country enough to vote, then why can’t we sell them voting rights.

We could exchange voting rights for capital investment from foreign job creators say $10,000 per vote if you live in the US and $50,000 if you live outside (to avoid taxes, the money can be kept safely offshore).

Here’s a thought: Let’s outsource voting rights to countries that have lower costs and can guarantee efficient turnout. They can bid for the contracts. Imagine if we sold contracted just 5 million votes each to China, Russia, and Iran. That would be a windfall of 750,000,000,000 (750 billion) dollars. We could balance the budget in no more than two election cycles, and by recruiting foreign input, vastly reduce anti Americanism, by ensuring our policies are friendly to those places we keep our money.

Added to that, imagine how brilliant it would be for the purchasers to know their vote actually had an impact? Can you think of a better way to raise funds and promote democracy? Hell, let’s throw in 5 million votes to Venezuela, Syria, and France while we’re at it.

But running a successful enterprise isn’t just about maximising revenue; you have to lower costs as well.  This is why I think the Voter ID Laws need to be expanded to ‘cut out the fat’

A myth peddled by the elite liberal media is that each vote is as valuable as the next, and therefore ‘every vote counts’. This is clearly untrue in practice if not in principle.

What I am proposing here is a system of weighted votes; let’s start with the premise that every vote counts equally, but implement a system whereby the value of a vote can depreciate through misuse much like any other asset

I think it is the duty of every consultant patriot to honestly look the people around them and ask who should be in the driving seat, who should be in the back seat, and who should be tied to the roof. I have some suggestions:

The poor

It’s been proven time and time again that people don’t value stuff you just give away. They are far more likely to appreciate something that they have earned. It is nothing more than an extension of the crypto ‘social justice’ crowd that voting is somehow a ‘right’. It’s what has led us to this culture of entitlement that is bankrupting our once proud nation. Honestly, if you can’t scrape enough together for a car, I don’t care what your opinion is.

The stupid

Why are we giving the vote to stupid people? Stupid people make stupid decisions; by definition. Incompetence and recalcitrance affects the bottom line. It’s also been proven that stupid people join unions, and nothing damages profit more than unions.

Below, I have made a few suggestions for various infringements and the penalty

  1. Posted an article from The Onion online in order to prove a point (-10%)
  2. Argued with someone that it was real (-20%)
  3. Written a blog about Glee, Harry Potter, Twighlight, or Desperate Housewives (- 10%)
  4.  Complained online about not getting g an iphone (- 10%)
  5. Tweeted that your ignorance about something (e.g. the Titanic being a real) (-50%) If you can’t Google, your opinion is worthless.
  6. Talked on the train or any other public transport for more than the 2 minutes it tells you to say you’re on the way and what time you’ll be there.
  7. Texted while driving.
  8. Have more than 500 photos of YOURSELF on social media and/or at least 30 of them were taken at the same time.  (-25%)
  9. Voted Democrat.(-100% and 2 year suspension – leading to prison for non voting)
  10. Watched more than 30 hours of PBS in your lifetime, or listen to NPR (ever)(-88%)

It’s an incomplete list, but it’s a start. I think we all need to have the conversation (in quiet rooms) about how we can have a Voter ID Law that works for this country.

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